Eulogy for an Addiction

Dearly Addicted,

We are gathered here to say our goodbye.  Goodbye to addiction, blackened lungs, dull smiles, smoke filled clothes and breath.  Well Cigarette, it has been a year and 4 months since I last smoked you.  It was difficult to let you go but I’m sure you knew that.  You were very well made with all your toxic chemicals carefully wrapped up in a pretty box appealing to even young children.  You were there as a crutch during many anxious moments and you formulated yourself to make me a craver for 7 whole years.  Your prices rose and rose but still we stuck together. 

I met you when I was 14. You made me feel so cool.  None of my friends were brave (or dumb) enough to try you.  You gave me something to rebel against with my family and you made me feel so grown up. 

You made loved ones sick, you caused many arguments and disappointments.  You made me miss tons of important moments.  I missed joyful expressions during Christmas, I missed funny stories during family get-togethers, and I can’t tell you how many times I missed LSU score that awesome touchdown because I needed to go outside to smoke.  I stood outside in the freezing cold or scorching hot temperatures just to taste you.  I was out there in the rain trying desperately to keep you lit. I forgave you for burning clothes, and car interiors, and carpet.  I overlooked the fact that you smelled horrible, made me cough constantly, and really disappointed people close to me.

I can’t say I haven’t missed you from time to time.  It’s been hard learning how to handle stress and excitement without you.   I haven’t been able to replace you with anything but common sense.  Sometimes I dream of you. These dreams never last long.

It has taken me quite a while to be able to say farewell for sure. I was so dependent on you that I wasn’t confident that I could really let you go.  I know now that I can do anything.  You were my strongest addiction in the world.  I have let you go because I cannot take the heartache you cause me anymore.

  

I won’t miss you anymore.  If I think of you, I will think of the desperateness you made me feel if you weren’t there. I will think of how sick you made me feel.  I will think of the loved ones that you have drained. I will think of the people’s lives that you take.  I can smile and gladly say goodbye to you now addiction.